Throughout my life he showed me how to live, how to love, and how, to the best of your ability, “write your own story”. My dad was always independent. A self-made businessman, he provided for his family through hard, honest work. He never did retire; he only slowed down, little by little. He stayed active even after a life-threatening event with his heart at age 78 and was determined to keep living even after cancer took his wife of over 50 years.
 

Like most people over the age of 70, Geno (that’s what I called him) had a few health issues to deal with like high blood pressure, heart disease, type 2 diabetes and a few other conditions. For the most part, he described himself as "healthy" and was able to live life “his way” through the help of a trusted doctor and modern medicine. Over time that would change.
 
Now, well into his eighties, his health conditions were starting to impact his day to day living; and there were real concerns over his safety. As a professional who has worked with many families facing similar situations, one thing was for sure: if we were going to honor how my dad wanted to live, it would require careful consideration, compassion, and a plan.

 

My dad, sister and I, along with his healthcare team, discussed what was most important to him, what kind of life he was trying to maintain, and - given his health condition - what treatments were available that might help him achieve his goals. One of his decisions was to not be resuscitated if his heart should stop. He did not want heroic measures taken if there was not a reasonable chance he could recover to his current life. The discussion was honest, a little emotional, and very helpful for everyone involved.

Dad died a few months later from an event with his heart following minor surgery.  He was surrounded by his children, grandchildren, and friends, with a care team by his side caring for him as he desired. He was 88 years young. One of the last things he told me was, “Don’t cry for me, I’ve lived two good lives!” I was at peace because I knew he not only wrote his own story…he lived it. I firmly believe the Advance Care Planning we did together empowered him to do so.